Monday, October 31, 2011


WHo lives in a pineapple under the sea?!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Porous and yellow and spongy is he!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Spongebob Squarepants.
Spongebob Squarepants.
Spongyyybooob Squarepaaaants!!

Du du du du du du du duuu.

Okay, now I have depressed myself.
Would you like to know why?
Probably not. But I shall tell you anyway.

I created Spongebob nails. They were so amazing, I wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL NAILS, WORLD!"
And I was totally prepared to do that.

....But then the most horrific of all things possible happened.

This seemingly innocent pot of white nail paint was sitting on my desk. In my happiness, I swung my hands around, admiring the beauty that was my nails.
Bad decision.
One moment, my world is filled with Spongebob and beauty and all things wonderful.
Next moment?
A bloodcurdling scream is being wrenched out of my mouth as time freezes and earth stops spinning. In slow motion, I watched as my hand knocked over the pot. I watched as it sailed through the air, streams of nail paint flying everywhere, staining my floor, my thighs, my cell phone, and.. last of all.. My nails.
Oh, the horror.

Painstaking effort put into the minute details of Spongebob's face... gone.

It felt like the end of the world.
Maybe it was. Who knows? Maybe I'm currently living in a whole other reality, one where Spongebob forgives me splattering his lovely face with white paint.

Oh, how I wish I was.

But no. I'm still in this world.
One where I shall forever be hated by Spongebob and his dishwashing minions.

Why me?

(This is where you break into sobs and hope that Spongebob is listening. Hopefully your tears shall cause him to empathize with me and cause him to therefore decide to forgive my error.)

...One can only hope.

1 comment:

  1. damn I broke into teas at the slowmotion part it was like a movie playing in my mind