Friday, June 24, 2011

My Much-Awaited (I think?) Return.

I haven't been blogging for a while now. Truth is, I've been afraid of saying what I wanted to say, because I have so MUCH to say. Being opinionated has always brought me nothing but trouble. I figured I'd keep my mouth shut for once.
But why, and for what?
One thing I've learned in my fifteen years of life - Embrace yourself. I have a hell of a lot of flaws (They've been pointed out to me more than once) but so what? I can't honestly be expected to be perfect. No one should be.
Therefore, i am back. (Who cares if I run my moutha little too much? It's not like I have anything better to do, anyway)

There's something that's been nagging my mind for the past week. A lot of people (Well, okay, three people said that. But compared to the amount of people that I actually talk to, that is a lot) have said that I'm too "intense".
But last time I checked... Wasn't that a good thing?
I've always known myself to be emotional. I never thought it was a bad thing, until now.
I never thought something as simple as that could drastically change my life as much as it did.

I promised myself I would never change who I was. Not for a guy, not for my family, not for anyone. (I can be pretty stubborn when I want to be) Besides, everything was going perfectly for me. Why should I want to change myself?
That's when it all started to fall apart. Actually, fall apart aren't the appropriate words. That's when it all started to reveal itself. The silk ribbons that held my life in place turned out to be cheap cloth that simply tore away. Leaving nothing there, but a very confused me. What I thought was perfection was nothing but my imagination making things seem brighter than they were.

I stopped feeling alone a long time ago. Maybe it was because I finally opened myself up. Maybe it was because I finally felt accepted. Maybe it was just because I grew up.
Either way, I started to believe. Believe in happy endings. I finally opened up and trusted someone.

The thing with trust is that it can easily be broken.

I learned something from all of this, though. I learned that we shouldn't always believe that everyone can be trusted. They can't. You're always going to have those people, the ones that present you with fake smiles and empty promises. They're always going to feed you with words, words you think are filled with meaning, but in reality, are not.
In the end of the day, it's not the words that prove anything, it's the actions. It's the promises.
When someone breaks a promise, don't ever forgive them. Don't ever make the mistake of doling out second, third, fourth chances. Some people don't change, no matter how hard you push them towards it, no matter how hard you try.

As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with that old, cliche saying - "If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't return, then it was never yours." In a way, it makes perfect sense.

Some things are worth letting go.

1 comment:

  1. I think ur totally right..... i mean sometimes u have to let go of what u love, if u want to or not u have to....
    U have been quite intense... but i guess u changed now! :)
    U've been through loads this year, u might want to start taking a break... if u know what i mean :D
    i think its good that u talk about this, people might have different opinions, but u should always talk about ur problems so people can help u