Pages

Background

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Kim, are you okay? Yes. Are you happy? Yes.

I'll tell you what I saw yesterday. I saw the sky. I saw the sky and I had these questions.
Everyone always asks questions. Why are we here? What are we here for? What is the purpose of this life?
My questions are much, much simpler than those.
Why do we want to know? 

Why do we want all these answers?

I thought about it last night, when I was crying because I was upset. I thought, why am I upset? What makes me upset? What makes me want to be upset?
Why do I react this way?

I wanted to know. I searched my mind, but I didn't have an answer.
But do you know what I thought? 
I'm starting to know the person I am. 
I'm starting to see differently. For a half a year, I was stuck in this silly little daze. I hated this. I hated everyone. I hated me.
Why do I hate me?
I shouldn't hate me.
That shouldn't be happening.

Life, to me, always seemed worthless. It never meant anything to me. A life is a life. One dies, a new one is born. It's a cycle. 
But I see differently now.
But life isn't worthless. Not mine, at least. If I wasn't alive, I wouldn't be having these thoughts. I wouldn't be smiling, or laughing, or crying, or weeping. I wouldn't exist.
I'm glad I exist.

I'm happy, lately. I'm happy because I'm overcoming the hard shell I had put myself in. I'm not nice to people. I'm not friendly. I'm not helpful.
Why not?
I'm going to get out of that.

You know what? I'm setting a goal for myself. I have to be happy. And if I become sad, I shall have to write it down. And every time I'm sad, I have to overcome it.

Because no matter how hard you try, you can't be happy unless you want to be happy.

6 comments:

  1. YAY....THIS IS THE BEST POST...WELL SECOND BEST (AFTER THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS RITISH DESAI ONE :p) BUT YEA...GOOD...IM SOO HAPPY FOR U....I MEAN...YEST I WAS GONNA KILL U BUT...NOW...I GUESS...U DESERVE TO LIVE (ONLY CAUSE U STARTING ASKING QUESTIONS...RELEVANT, IMPORTANT QUESTIONS)...

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha....thanks you ritish :)
    questions....ive been asking a lot of those lately..
    :)
    ur getting a the awesomeness that is ritish desai #2 now

    ReplyDelete
  3. :D haha awesome Ritish.. :p

    Kim im happy u r alive... i wonder what life would be without u

    ReplyDelete
  4. oh and just btw
    ur backround is awesome

    ReplyDelete
  5. life would be terrible without me ;) im glad im alive too.

    and thanks, i love my background too :D

    ReplyDelete