I'll tell you what I saw yesterday. I saw the sky. I saw the sky and I had these questions.
Everyone always asks questions. Why are we here? What are we here for? What is the purpose of this life?
My questions are much, much simpler than those.
Why do we want to know?
Why do we want all these answers?
I thought about it last night, when I was crying because I was upset. I thought, why am I upset? What makes me upset? What makes me want to be upset?
Why do I react this way?
I wanted to know. I searched my mind, but I didn't have an answer.
But do you know what I thought?
I'm starting to know the person I am.
I'm starting to see differently. For a half a year, I was stuck in this silly little daze. I hated this. I hated everyone. I hated me.
Why do I hate me?
I shouldn't hate me.
That shouldn't be happening.
Life, to me, always seemed worthless. It never meant anything to me. A life is a life. One dies, a new one is born. It's a cycle.
But I see differently now.
But life isn't worthless. Not mine, at least. If I wasn't alive, I wouldn't be having these thoughts. I wouldn't be smiling, or laughing, or crying, or weeping. I wouldn't exist.
I'm glad I exist.
I'm happy, lately. I'm happy because I'm overcoming the hard shell I had put myself in. I'm not nice to people. I'm not friendly. I'm not helpful.
I'm going to get out of that.
You know what? I'm setting a goal for myself. I have to be happy. And if I become sad, I shall have to write it down. And every time I'm sad, I have to overcome it.
Because no matter how hard you try, you can't be happy unless you want to be happy.